Thursday, October 23, 2008

The Vacuum Sucking Out the Vacation Pleasure Experience

I really enjoy going to new places, towns, sights, cultures and food experiences — but air travel just sucks the life out of you.

All these nimrods that are too cheap to check in their suitcase, so they try to bring it on board. Rolling, poking, pushing, shoving and slinging their over-size, over-loaded, over-packed "allegedly" carry-on type luggage, through small aisles of planes to insert them into a limited number of overhead bins which are smaller than the luggage — not to mention coats, laptops or foam replicas of the Empire State Building and wedding gifts for the newlyweds (who would rather have a gift card) — they're all clogging the boarding and deboarding process. 

Cut us all some slack — check your crap in before boarding! Southwest and Frontier don't even charge a DIME for your suitcases to be checked. Your 15-20 minutes of time saved by not checking your luggage is lost when all you jokers tie up EVERYONE on the plane upon landing or pre-takeoff.

On a recent flight, a woman had her suitcase open, blocking the aisle for the 45 people yet to board while she looked for her fuzzy slippers to wear on the plane. Oh, no, she didn't have time to do this BEFORE getting on the plane, because she was too busy talking on her cell phone at the airport about tuna casserole (it's a national crisis on the casserole front).

So my proposal is, limit everyone to an iPod, two magazines and a bottle of water (of course, chocolate is allowed for the ladies). Everyone would be happy (unless the airline sends your luggage to Timbuktu). But they accomplish that sometimes, anyway.

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