It's Moving Day!!!

Only after a gazillion blog posts do I get it, that commenting here is somewhat user-unfriendly. I have heard from the masses (OK, maybe 10 people) that you want a simpler way to add your input. Your wish is my command...

I've moved my blog to a new site, and it's very easy to leave comments there. (I don't know if it can get any simpler, unless Scotty beams up your comments.) Please click the link and mark the address of my new blog site in your favorites: Whaddaya Say, Glen Ray? All the old posts are there, and that's where you'll find the latest entries.

OK — do it RIGHT NOW before you forget!

PS: There's a special message waiting for you there...

Habitat for Hamas

Well, sports fans — the new President, as one of the first things in office, signed an order to close Gitmo. Yep, Guantanamo Bay prison, where the prisoners captured IN THE FIELD war participants are housed, has been ordered to close by a certain date. Just where the heck do they go? Their own countries don't want these terrible guys back, other countries don't want them either. Let's look at a few of the options...

The San Francisco option — Folks, we need your pledge of support monthly by sending in only $23 for "Little Timmy the Terrorist" (Ahbad Khomboomba). With your adoption donation, you'll get a picture of him with Sally Struthers, a note from him four times a year (if you're brave enough to give him your address), and a certificate suitable for framing. Your money goes toward heavy black robes, cute little skull caps, a new nap mat and shoes with hollow pockets in the heels.

The Hollywood option — Bring all the terrorists to Hollywood with one of those gold-colored sheets from American Idol and put them up in the mansion used by the Bachelor show. Since a few of the attorneys from OJ's dream team defense group have passed on, you would instead give them the actors who play the parts (in a made-for-TV movie). Then all those Hollywood actors and actresses that don't think these people are dangerous can have them over to their mansion for a sleepover.

The Georgia option — Jimmy Carter has a lot of free time these days, so he can build a little prison village out of Habitat for Humanity homes (or Habitat for Hamas). After all, the peanut butter thing is scaring the do-dah out of everyone right now, so he could get those un-busy plant workers to pitch in. Just bring the terrorists in through the Atlanta airport (that's enough to scare the truth out of anybody).

The Chicago option — Send them to Chicago to become community organizers in ACORN. Then they could sign up all their fellow Arabs to vote, get political favors, bid contracts and jobs. After awhile, they'd give up terrorism for this gig because it's similar but they don't expect you to slap a bomb kit on, run into a crowd and blow yourself up.

The Arizona option — Send them to the desert in the county where the sheriff makes them wear pink undies, jumpsuits and tennis shoes. The sheriff feeds them beanie weenies, bread and a carrot stick. "Desert? They don't need no stinkin' desert!" And no smoke breaks...

The (name undisclosed) option — Hide them in a warehouse in New Jersey, but spread the rumor on the street that they are there to "take over the action" (numbers, bookmaking, drugs, prostitution, grand thieving and protection money). Feed the terrorists Spam and Kool-Aid until the "wise guys" settle this little problem for us.

Hey, maybe Gitmo is the place they ought to be. Wham! (I could've had a V-8!) Maybe that's why they are there — because it makes pretty good sense! Who'da figured???

Random OKC Metro Ramblings

All those out-of-state or metro readers, please indulge me on this one. First out of the chute is the robbery at the Nichols Hills Cleaners of an "undisclosed amount of money" recently. For those not familiar with the cleaners' location, it's in the "ghetto part of Nichols Hills", in the Plaza (owned by Chesapeake) and directly across from the Nichols Hills Police Department. Are we safe at the salon, are we brave enough to go to the boutiques? If our noses are up in the air, then how can we spot robbers? Rumor has it, the police were tied up out giving tickets to people that had the gall to park a pickup truck in their Nichols Hills driveway.

Point number two — recently, four restaurants have closed on the Memorial Street corridor from MacArthur to Penn. That only leaves about 30 or so left. (Ha!) Oklahomans are a fickle lot — they know what they like and don't like. National chains do well sometimes, and often they are surprised that they don't pass the local muster. Barbeque is a strange animal, being that Okies consume a LOT of it. Smokey Bones (went out), Tony Roma's (went out two different times). Besides, didn't he have any old family Italian recipes to share with us instead of being a BBQ poacher? We like our BBQ from guys like Leo, Earl or George, who you know was up at night stoking the smoker. Carrabas never took off, but Bravo's is doing fine. Cheeseburger in Paradise was slow and mediocre but hey, everybody loves Jimmy Buffett (we forgive him because we know he wasn't running the darn thing anyway).

Lastly, all the TV stations are Johnny on the spot to cover a story (block the way at the scene, probably), but why if the "story" happens at 9 or 10 a.m. do they have a reporter standing in the same place at 10 p.m. (dark, so they have to have lights) reporting this story which is old news by now, because our interest is fixated on some other story that happened in the last 12 HOURS. If our legal system was better, then the perpetrators could be caught and had their trial by the late newscast.

Check out the Oklahoma League for the Blind — it's a fascinating story about what all they do and manufacture. Pretty awesome what these people are able to accomplish.

Chick-Fil-A is open in Moore now. Does that make Moore a Big League City???

To Bowl or Not to Bowl

Once again, we made it through "The Bowl Season". The Bowl Season is a plot put forth by the merchants and the women of the world. Ingenious ploy; give those males what they want — football, football, FOOTBALL — plus, throw in food and cheerleaders. It's like hooking a five-pound bass.

What do the women get in return? Trips to places they wouldn't normally go, like San Diego, Miami, Hawaii, New Orleans, Nashville and Scottsdale (all in the winter, after becoming a crazy, shrieking banshee after holiday gatherings). Guess what? Nice hotels (you don't make the bed), great food (you don't have to cook or clean up), and the BIG "S" (shopping at after-Christmas prices everywhere). Lovely ladies shopping everywhere, and those men didn't even know what hit them — BCS is code for "Babes Can Shop"! Whether your husband's team (theoretically, your team, too) wins or loses, you've made out like a bandit. 

Even if you don't get to go to a Bowl location, women have the home-field advantage. They throw out every easy-made (bad for you, but mass quantities are consumed watching the commercials) food they can think of from "Recipes Gone Wild". Women then get you to invite one of your buds, or maybe your wing-man and his wife, over for a Bowl game — and the next time you look up, the wives are gone to Gordman's or Penn Square.

Bowl shopping has its own scoring system. If the MSRP (car lingo) or original price is $120, then you get a 33% mark-down, then another price reduction of 25% for the Red Tag price, plus use your 20% off coupon and another 10% if you use their charge card... Are you with me? If you went shopping during a Bowl game, they probably still owe YOU money or merchandise. 

You still have time — the Super Bowl isn't until February 1st. Heck, you only have until Valentine's Day before all offers are void where prohibited.

2008: Year of the Fish Bait (as the Chinese name them)

Yeah, 2008 smells, stinks and reeks of crooked politics, greed and idiot's disease running rampant. Congress spent money the last few years like drunken sailors on leave. Companies ran up stock prices with Wall Streeters soaking it for millions, then begging for help like college kids gone wild. Crime is on the upswing everywhere, but on a positive note, President Bush kept us safe from terrorist attacks.

Loads of natural disasters, like flooding in the Midwest (but we'll just build back in the same place, assuming it won't flood again). Housing markets, property values and shady mortgage loans caused lots of problems. Well, guess what, folks? Some people shouldn't own a home! Our poor are so well-off compared to other countries. Food stamps with (cell phones, big or multiple TVs, computers, internet access and junk food).

Enough downer stuff — what else happened this year? Well, the closing (or moving) of one of my beloved icons, Yankee Stadium, was almost overshadowed by one of its players, A-Rod (Alex Rodriguez) being of the married person kind, whose little peccadillo of DATING another married high-profile type, Madonna (what Britney Spears wants to be when she grows up — the poster lady for explaining the need for foster children). Did they think nobody in New York would notice?

As they used to say, "Jimmy the Greek won't touch them odds" pertaining to the alleged safest bets for 2008:

• Patriots (undefeated) will beat the Giants in the Superbowl

• Hillary Rodham Clinton is a "lock" for the Democrat presidential nominee.
  

That, my friends, is why they call it a bet.

People screamed and cursed adamantly that Sarah Palin wasn't qualified but those same "progressives" are now saying Caroline Kennedy is qualified to be a US Senator, mostly because of her parents. Shoot, then — let's make the case for Chastity Bono. Her parents were famous, had a lot of money, knew all the "beautiful people," her father was a Congressman and a mayor, her mother has been to a zillion countries worldwide. Put her in a dressy flannel plaid shirt and Chastity Bono will hit the ground running.

When Russia invaded Georgia this year, Jimmy Carter had to fly back to Atlanta in hopes of saving the peanut farms, only to find out that (as usual with him) his calculations were a few thousand off.

Paul Newman passed on this year — I didn't like his politics, but his food is good and the foundation does positive stuff. Speaking of stuff — George Carlin also passed on, but his routine about "stuff" was a classic (or for you younger people — LOL!).

Things never got bad enough for Forbes magazine not to notice the fictional side of wealth. Forbes named the top 15 fictional wealthiest people, with #5 Thurston Howell III, #4 Scrooge McDuck, #3 Oliver "Daddy" Warbucks (got his during the Depression), #2 Richie Rich, and (drum roll, please) #1 Santa Claus (who'd have thought he could beat out Gordon Gekko?).

I hope your Christmas was merry, and have a Happy New Year 2009 — Year of the Lug Nut.

Thanksgiving Means Be Thankful, or Be a Turkey

This 2008, I'm thankful for a lot of things — good, bad and minuscule:

• I'm thankful for Snickers bars with almonds, because that's a taste combo that I crave sometimes.

• I'm thankful that most little kids see me as a grandfather figure, and not a spooky monster.

• I'm thankful that I didn't grow up to be a proctologist (even though my mother would have wanted a doctor)

• I'm thankful that I didn't (as I once thought about) pursue a career in professional wrestling — my figure wouldn't be very sightly in tights.

• I'm thankful I live in a country where I have plenty to eat and DON'T have to eat brussels sprouts for any reason.

• I'm thankful my neighbors don't have a pit bull or a barking, yelping or moaning dog.

• I'm thankful the big fashion "must" is NOT wearing polka-dot ties.

• I'm thankful leftovers (food) don't have a mind of their own and form a union which makes you eat them until they are all gone.

• I'm thankful that football and basketball are in HD now, so I can see their goofy tattoos in such detail.

• I'm thankful that Abraham's Onion Burgers is going to re-open on North Western (like I really need a greasy onion burger and fries).

• I'm thankful for all my family, friends, God's love, the people who provide our safety (the troops in our Armed Forces, police officers, firemen, healthcare providers), and for America, the greatest country in the world.

• I'm thankful most of all that you're reading my blog — yeah, this blog — and I hope your Thanksgiving was the best ever!
  

$700 Billion Dollar Bailout Smokescreen Hides the Real News this Week

With all this hubbub about the financial mess, Congress, VP debates and elections, maybe you missed some of the real news....

First, did you know that the world's fattest man, Mexican Manuel Uribe, has lost nearly 570 ponds — almost HALF his body weight — just in time to get married? He'll look rather dapper in his "tuxedo sheet" (the guy only wears sheets because he can't get out of bed), because you need something to pin the boutonniere to! Or...

A chef died from eating the hottest chili they could make. His wife's brother (brother-in-law in most of the 50 states) said he could make chili so HOTTTT!! that the chef couldn't eat it. Much to his demise, he proved him wrong. He won the bet. Congress didn't do this, but we'll probably have a study, project or bill that's funded by us (you and me, the taxpayers) to rate or make manufacturers of chili to mark them or give health warnings. They can't handle highways, taxes or big finance, but they're licking their chops to get a shot at "Peter Piper picked a pile of pickled (hot) peppers"!

Or they'll really sink their teeth into this — in England, the government is making the cigarette manufacturers put gross, graphic pictures on cigarette packs showing throat sores and cancerous lungs, with sayings such as, "Smoking causes fatal lung cancer" or "Smoking can cause a slow, painful death." Some of these look like fake tabloid pictures. Not for the faint of heart or little kids — but those two shouldn't be buying them, anyway. And you thought everything was happening in Washington!

In closing, just a little real estate helpful hint, since Halloween is coming up. In Oklahoma, like most states, it's up to the buyer to specifically ask the question to the seller in writing. What question would this be, you ask? "Is this house haunted?" Sellers have to disclose knowledge about lead-based paint, but not if anybody has died in the house, unless specifically asked. Also, in the city limits, it's not "cool" to bury your pet in the yard. They are just like family, but need to be laid to rest someplace else.

Have a good week, and write your check for the "bailout". Send it to me and I'll make sure it gets counted! (Ha! Ha! Ha!)

You Can Put Lipstick on It, But It's Still the State Fair

Differences of opinion prevail, but some think the State Fair has been sanitized too much. Several years ago, some of the traditions were cast off or have been eliminated because of political correctness. No freak shows, oddities or motorcycle daredevils — not even a man turning into a gorilla right before your very eyes (like every 20 minutes or so).

People are still waiting in long lines for midway rides designed to jerk you, shake you, toss you and bounce you around. Loud rock music and fancy lights blare the sirens' call to lure the half-drunk teens or mid-twenties getting a thrill for two minutes and 31 seconds for $5.00 out of their system.

Then there are the kiddie rides. This is where the parents on a ride operated by characters who, under normal circumstances, are the people these parents are warning their kids to look out for and not talk to or "take candy from". We have strict training and certification to operate a boat in the Bricktown canal (which is three to four feet deep, at the most), but not the rides at the fair. Governor Brad thought this to be too hard on the people — after all, we only had one fatality in Tulsa on a ride last year.

The "dunk tank guy" was back this year with all his insulting banter which demeans everyone and everything within earshot. Perfect for a 12-year-old boy to hear and adopt into his limited communication skills. (Hey, you gave Junior $20 and four hours free to roam at the fair.)

The next big crackdown at the (everybody sing: "The Great State Fair of Oooklaahoma") is the food police. All these healthy, vegan, fat-free, cholesterol-testing, carb-counting busybodies must have their blood pressures go off the charts with these time bombs ticking on the grills and in the deep fryers. They had a new one this year — garlic mashed potatoes lumped into a wedge, then deep-fried on a stick. Just grab one and do the "glob in my veins" happy dance!

Even the carney games have been cleaned up to look like "Chucky Cheese" instead of the seedy, rigged carney sucker-magnets that they really are. Also, nobody is carrying around yardsticks anymore with some business name that nobody read, but were great for sword fights in the car on the way home. Forty-nine booths selling cheap sunglasses and food sealers — how has the world survived without these?

One thing holds true — the car is always parked farther away when you're leaving the fair than when you got there. WHO MOVES THEM????

Father's Day in Culture Town

Gosh, I don't know what's wrong with our culture, society or general everyday living space. The week before Father's Day on the search engine Lycos, guess what the rankings by search terms were? They have a Top 50 list every week.

• Let's start with #1 — Lindsay Lohan. What a train-wreck personality! 

• Or #2 — YouTube (which could be anything from a gospel song, performance, or a mouse riding a cat riding a dog riding in a Hot Wheels car being pulled by a pig in the Garlic Day parade.

• Then there's more floozies, actresses or models than you can shake a stick at: at #3 Kim Kardashian; #4 Megan Fox; #7 Paris Hilton; #8 Jessica Alba; #10 Angelina Jolie (whatever?); #12 Pamela Anderson; and #16 Jessica Biel.

• Surprising — coming in at #5 was Naruto (no, it's not a natural way for men to grow hair on a bald head). It's the Japanese animated whatever, like a smart-aleck show-off Ninja punk.

• Then who would have thunk it? Our old pal (not the American Idol) Clay Aiken is #6. Why, why, WHY????

• At #9, 13 and 14 respectively, were Pokemon (the franchise lives on $$$), Facebook (I guess there's not enough pictures of sloppy drunks or 50ish men claiming they are "sensitive" and 40) and MySpace (so yesterday, it's beyond imagination).

• For the practical (or web thieves), there was BitTorrent at #15, the cool way to move files and media. Practical at #15 is a surprise!

• Then all you sports fans come in with Boston Celtics at #17 and Golf at #18, which should be HUGE, I would think (Father's Day week and golf at a lowly #18?). Both are behind the sports leader on Lycos, WWE at #11. (Well, maybe professional wrestling isn't a sport, per se, but there's lots of physical activity and a lot of sport watching the people who are watching the WWE.)

All this is to say that feminists, sit-coms, comedians and society have put down fathers, so last week Father's Day came out at #19. What a shame. Next year I'll be checking out the Mother's Day ratings on Lycos. At least Dad beat out Poker (#22), Coco Crisp (#36) and Hillary Clinton, who didn't even make the list (how quickly we forget!).

If you're buying or selling a home, call me — "That Real Estate Guy".

Father's Day in the Big Town

Once a year, it's time to realize that I used to get excited to buy my Dad cologne (that he never used) or fishing stuff. Now he's passed away at age 93, and I'm the Dad, with two wonderful daughters who my Dad was so very proud to have as granddaughters and a wonderful mother for the girls. I think Dad thought I could possibly marry a barmaid from Bartlesville (and he wasn't looking down on the barmaid!).

When I was young, Dad and I went to the old All-Sports Stadium a lot to see the Oklahoma City '89ers baseball team, back when the Bricktown Ballpark or the Redhawks were still just a cloud in somebody's crystal ball.

Even though I was young, I still knew something crazy was going on when they had 10¢ beer night. Rowdy crowd, I guess! Yelling the crass, loud remarks at the opposing batters. We stayed until the game was over, even in a blow-out, because Dad had forked over the money for tickets and we were getting the "full enjoyment", whether you liked it or not. The up-side — with fewer people in the stands, it meant that foul balls were easier to catch, chase down or wrestle for.

The food was typical fair (pun intended) — All-Sports Stadium was on the fairgrounds. I knew Dad was good for two or three concession buys per night. Unfortunately, one of them was for hot dogs or hamburgers, because we didn't eat supper beforehand. If we did, though, then Junk Food City, here we come! Ice cream, cotton candy, caramel apples, peanuts (lots of peanuts), funnel cakes and candy bars. 

I did observe something, even at that young and tender age. Down the first base line, right in front of the bleachers, was the bullpen, stocked with pitchers and catchers not seeing game action. So guess who was in the first base line bleachers? Twenty-something girls — blondes, brunettes, redheads and bleached blondes (Marilyn Monroe wannabes). 

Was this just fate? I don't think so. Sometimes I would overhear conversations or the ball players would have me fetch one of the girls for them to talk with. I thought, "How lucky those girls are to get to 'meet' the ball players and go out with them." As I got older, I realized the ball player was getting played like a trout on a fly rod.

Happy Father's Day to all you Dads out there!

What's Your Peeve Level?

Don't give me that "holier-than-thou" look when I ask what the current top five on your pet peeves list are. We all have things that eat away at us like a squirrel gnawing on an old pecan.

• The "dude" in the 10-item-or-less express line at the grocery store with his monthly shopping (over 10, over 15 — do I hear over 20 items?!?!).

• The lady that grabs the one item in a store of 12,000+ items that doesn't have a price tag, and of course the person who works in that department just started their 30-minute lunch break. After no one can be found to tell them the price, the cashier comes up with a price off the top of her head of $15.99, and the customer says, "I'll think about it..."

• Convenience store clerks that ask a 50-year-old lady for her ID to buy a pack of cigarettes (how cute, how adorable, how special!!), and meanwhile the line is eight people deep while the lady digs in her purse and pulls out the pictures of her nine grandkids to get to her license and prove she's over 21.

• Try this one — you pick up the dry cleaning, and your clothing has a very visible spot on it that wasn't there when you brought it in. Then they try to convince you it was there. It's almost duke-it time, and they aren't smart enough to see that you're a "life-long" customer (if they'd just take care of you!).

• Next on the list — clerks who have people sign up for credit cards and preferred customer cards while check-out lines back up. Not to mention any names, but (Kohl's, Best Buy, Steinmart and CVS) are the worst offenders.

• A real biggie — people who go through a large intersection on a green light, but stop immediately on the other side of the intersection to turn LEFT into a business on the corner. Breakdown!!! Instead of planning ahead (30 seconds max) by working their way over to the left-turn lane, turning left at the intersection, then turning RIGHT into the business on the corner, they block the inside lane of traffic while waiting for the cars in the opposing two lanes to clear out so they can turn. Instead of being selfish, blocking the intersection and messing up the traffic flow, be a good citizen and do the LEFT, then RIGHT thing!

• For all of you coupon users, what's the deal with restaurants having "buy one, get one for half-price" coupons? Whatever happened to "buy one meal, get one free"?

• That leads us to waiters or waitresses that take your order and gets every order wrong, or (as my friend Doris will attest to) that they just flat-out didn't turn your order in to the kitchen. Talk about a long wait!!! But at least they gave me a free breadstick. A FREE BREADSTICK — isn't that special???

Remember, if you know someone buying or selling, tell them to give me a call. 

PS: All comments are appreciated, even if they're negative. I take criticism well, but not long!

The Aliens Are Organized — Are We?

A recent candidate for office in a Western state had as part of his platform to establish a plan in case of an alien landing, encounter, meeting or invasion. 

Don't laugh or scoff yet! If you don't believe in extraterrestrial alien beings, I can understand — but what does it hurt to have a plan? There is a plan if the highway is blocked by a wreck, a bridge collapses, or a bomb threat is made. There is a plan if you overflow gas at the pump, or a toilet breaks in a hotel, or they run out of nacho chips at Taco Bell. Why would we not want an Alien Exposure Plan (AEP)?

This AEP shouldn't cost much, but let's at least have one. Chucky Cheese has a lot of plans. Even stupid bank robbers have a plan — not a good one perhaps, but a plan. 

What if the aliens show up and we don't even have punch and cookies? What if you came this far and all you met were self-centered jerks that didn't have a plan? Couldn't you just look up in the sky and see (especially at night) that if somebody from up there comes here, don't I need a plan?

We are in luck — ol' Governor Brad Henry is a lame-duck governor, so he's the perfect guy to get our AEP started. Who cares if Oregon or Rhode Island has an AEP — we need to be the leader. Maybe Cleveland County should be the first county to have an AEP. If they showed up in Norman, there is not enough parking at the County Courthouse. If we are lucky, the aliens would know to go to the OU football stadium and get their pictures on the jumbotron.

Should our AEP include a meet-and-greet? Where do we tow them if it's a breakdown, or does Alien AAA cover it? Where do we put them up — at a hotel, motel or in private homes? Maybe the nearest bed & breakfast. Aliens probably don't know about bed & breakfasts — this gives us a chance to sneak up on them with the "Home Sweet Home" sweetness and homemade muffins. Muffins will get to the heart of their appearance.

Let's not make our plan too complicated, to overlook the obvious about our new friends. They won't speak Lebanese or French, so we need to have some Frank Sinatra music handy — everyone likes a little Sinatra. Finally, be sure and ask them if they need to freshen up a bit. After all, they may not have gone to the bathroom since Pluto.

I challenge Cleveland County to have the first AEP in Oklahoma, even if it means trying to find these aliens a can of Fresca.

If you catch yourself downtown in your car, go by Java Dave's on 10th St., just east of Broadway. Great locally roasted coffee, wireless access, baked goods, salads, sandwiches and desserts. A snack, quick lunch, or late night cup of joe. (It's just north of Bricktown, but easy to park.)

PS: The Pope recently said it's OK to believe in aliens. Maybe he knows something we don't......

Pinky Lee...And Who Dressed Me?

Recently, I was getting ready for another busy day. As I was getting dressed, I chose a pink oxford cloth button-down collar shirt, gray slacks and a bright blue/pink/yellow/green striped tie. This would be a great spring outfit!

My first stop was a home inspection. Upon arrival, the inspector said, "You must be very confident of your manhood to wear that pink shirt." Well, I never thought it was in question. Aren't we way past this pink shirt pastel preponderance of ridicule for just trying to be stylish and using the whole palette of choices? It's just a shirt!

I'm a life-long reader of GQ magazine, former clothes salesman and life-long clothes horse. Now, could you convince my daughters I know how to dress? I think not. I'll admit my recent combos of clothes sometimes push the downward limits. 

My childhood friend Randy and I have spent a zillion hours over the years looking at men's clothes to find the "Greatest Bargain of the Western Hemisphere". A lot of styles and trends have come and gone over the years such as bell bottoms, leisure suits with vests, big collar or small collar shirts. Ties with flowers, stars, stripes, globs, assorted abstract figures and cars. Shirts in yellow, blue, pink, green, beige which are plain, plaid, striped, or with goofy designs have graced your upper torso.

Our mecca of conservative clothing for men is fixing to close — Harold's Men's Wear on Campus Corner in Norman. When I read this, I didn't know whether to cry or go out and gather protesters to march with big signs. Then I realized it had sold its soul to the corporate demi-gods instead of staying a small family business. The home of the rugby shirt, 429 loafers and the endless madras shirt will close the doors, no matter what anybody does.

Our world keeps going in spite of the Harold's Campus Corner closing because Oklahomans are resilient. A change to another long-standing icon of individual style in clothing, Langston's department store in Stockyards City, is that place. Now remember my new mantra — "Only Real Cowboys Wear Pink Shirts!"

A short tip: If you have guttering, please clean them out ASAP — and if you don't have gutters, get them. This will save and relieve stress on that big asset — YOUR HOME.

Say "hi" if you see me (the guy in the pink shirt)...

Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?

There is only one answer for this question — your dog will. We all have puppies that are so sweet, but they grow and grow and grow, and sometimes reach enormous proportions. I've been to a lot of classes on personality types, psychological studies, buyer trends and emotional needs, and profiles of end-users — but none reveal the heart and mind of a dog owner.

Some would only dream of having a small one, some dream of only a large one, and others think a middle-sized one is "just right". Lap dogs, inside dogs, outside dogs. They all have two things in common — eating and pooping. As long as I don't have to step in it or clean it up, then I'm cool with it.

Also amazing is the longer people are together with their dog, the more they look alike. Is there a name for this phenomenon? Doglution, humasdoglooks, nosedozation, or maybe dogeneopoly — if you know, let me know!

Test scores and ratings are HUGE in education these days, so I'm proud to announce a little achievement of my own. In the recent CBS Sports NCAA March Madness Bracket Challenge, out of over 4 million contestants, I was 106,367th (looking good up there with the UPPER percentile of bad boys). Do statistics lie? I don't think so!

If you get a chance, check out the new Warren Theatres in Moore. What a class act! Food service balconies, a '50s diner inside, a fireplace seating area, 25" wide seats (comfortable to no end — pun intended), and the rich look of old downtown theatres of the 1930s, which I was privileged in the 1960s to visit in downtown OKC, before they tore them down for urban renewal. There were ten theatres in downtown OKC — some were not so elaborate, but a half-dozen were to die for.

Remember, if you try to pet a strange dog, it's your hand...