The Great Debate

A great debate rages between the US and Canada over who will sit on the throne. This is not a political debate — we're talking about the OTHER throne.

Bemis Manufacturing Co. (a US firm) and Centoco Plastics Ltd. ( a Canadian firm) are at each other's throats over the "Battle of the Bottoms." Yes, the dispute is over toilet seats.

Bemis claims those darn Canadians are lying about the size and the amount of wood in a WOODEN TOILET SEAT. I give up — what amount of wood is required in a wooden toilet seat? Centoco claims 5% to 20%, but Bemis says 40%. How about 100%, if you call it a WOODEN toilet seat?

Maybe the government would settle for non-wood toilet seats — after all, it usually goes with the cheapest bidder.

In Centoco's advertising they state, "Our wood seats are highly durable and superior for high-traffic locations." Where would that be? Maybe in a bar in Bricktown, the bus station or the Ford Center during a Michael Bublé concert. Then again, if you assigned it to a low-volume location, could it possibly last for 50 years? Oh, I forgot — there's not enough wood in there, percentage-wise, to entice the termites. Those buggers don't like that artificial filler junk in their food.

I wonder where cool tree-huggers actually sit on this issue? Please I urge you —  SIT AMERICAN!!!

Do yourself a favor — go out and do business with a locally-owned company today. These people are your neighbors, friends and supporters of your community's quality of life. Let's support them!